Today what I am writing is because of a dear friend who gave some strong views about my writing till now. Although I would not disclose what he said to me but definitely it changed my perspective about my expressions in writing. It is strange that I never thought from that point of view. All I was thinking was what Wordsworth said about poetry- "the spontaneous overflow of powerful emotions recollected in tranquility." Ever since I read I this description many years back I have applied it to all kinds of writing and not just poetry, which I am not sure I write well. So this friend has brought me back from my illusion and shown me a brighter side which is what I want to write about today ( and hopefully in future also). When he was talking to me about it (the writing) I felt as if he turned a mirror in which I have been seeing myself from last few months, in a different angle. It felt as I was swimming in deep waters and thinking that I cannot breath anymore, but after listening to him I realized that I can swim in the water where it will look blue and green and I will also be able to breath, in fact I would be laughing, while still in the water.
So going with the flow, water is something which makes me very happy; apart from being my favourite drink on earth, it is a blessing which nourishes, inside and outside. I would not say that it cannot destroy but that is an extreme situation. The smell of first rain on the thirsty earth is no stranger to anyone, I have never met a person till now who doesn't absolutely love the scent. If I were a believer in rebirth I would say I must have been a fish in my last life. I have always complained about the fact that my city doesn't have a sea-coast; we have a river but it is in such unimaginably bad state that one cannot dream of sitting close it, or even passing by it. In my imagination of paradise I see myself lying beside a river bank under an Amaltas tree, with my hand in water; after a while I get up and walk in the shallow parts of the river, looking at the fishes. Just the thought of it makes me feel blissful.
Another absolutely lovely blessing of God in summers is Amaltas tree. I cannot fill myself enough with its beauty. The tree has yellow colour flowers which are so thickly distributed that no leaves are visible. The yellow ranges from soft mild yellow to bright lemon yellow. The texture of the flower looks like wings of a yellow butterfly or rather like butter. Nowadays it is in full bloom in the city and I cannot get enough of looking at it and admiring it (which is dangerous while I am driving). But it makes me so very happy. Very unusually I have never tried to touch the flowers, even though they are strewn all over the road. And never smelled the as well, and now as I am thinking of it this what I am going to do tomorrow. Inhale the pretty smell all inside me and feel the buttery softness on my face.
The feeling of happiness leaves me looking like a statue of laughing Budhha. I cannot stop smiling. People who I meet on the way smile back at me. It feels so exquisite. When I was studying two years back, on the last day before exam everyone was saying goodbye to everyone, some people in my class suggested a game to be played. The game was that there were envelopes on a table with all of ours names and few pieces of paper, all we had to do was write a message to whoever we wanted and go to the table and put it in the respective person's envelope. Whether to write your name after the message or not was a choice left open. After everyone was done, the envelopes were distributed and we were all reading the messages and crying and hugging. Now I am telling this story because there was this anonymous message that said I look beautiful when I smile with my heart. The message was so touching it made me smile with all my heart. I still don't know who wrote it as there were seventy-five people in my class but I will always cherish the message. At other times also people have said nice things about my smile or laughter but all I want to say is that it is something I love to do, and I pray to have all the more reasons to laugh and smile, even in my liver.
Why am I writing all this? It's all because a new door has opened in my mind, and an old one has been closed, the darkness has given way to light which fills me all the time. I am swimming in the blue-green-turquoise water and laughing.
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